“The Barracuda”
In my last entry I ended with a real live Cliffhanger *. By now you must be positively salivating for the punchline, no? It would be cruel to postpone your satisfaction a minute longer, yes?
Why did I say that David and I feel like boiling our socks?
If you were my best friend Vid, for some reason you would now begin venturing wild guesses as though there was a door prize.
“Because you found mouse droppings in your sock drawer?”
“Because you both have ingrown toenails?
“Because you were just at my house for dinner and got covered in cat fur, to which you are both allergic?
I usually let her guess until she’s guessed-out and then say something like,
“No, Ewww and Excellent Guess, but how about I just tell you?”
So here’s the answer.
Right after this commercial message
ha ha
(like on American Idol but I hope you’re not watching that crap).
“Today’s entry is brought to you by: The Blog.
The Blog.
A modern, convenient distraction from working on your taxes.
Get yours today.”
And we’re back.
Why would we feel the need to boil our socks?
The answer to this question is a recent project that has run the gamut from Exciting to Bearable to Grim to Verging On Crime-Scene:
[Shoe-removal while house-hunting in March in Toronto].
That’s right, on top of everything else we’re both working on right now, we are looking to become first-time homeowners. Because it’s March and there are snowbanks and wet shoes and we’re searching in a certain price range and seeing about 10 houses a day, that’s a lot of “shoes-off/shoes on” in an onslaught of houses that range from Hellholes to Ridiculous Structures to Acceptably-Clean Dwellings to the Occasional Hidden Gem.
Highlights of the past week:
-The naked man in bed we discovered behind a second floor bedroom door, with no warning by the owner who let us into the house.
-A little old lady who, when we saw her home, pointed out the glitter embedded in the stucco living room ceiling with great pride, and who took me on a tour of her bedroom: “This is where I sleep. This is my bed, and my telephone, and my television.”
-A tour of a place that turned out to be an ex-rooming house, with something smeared on the walls in the bathroom that I need not identify.
I’m learning a lot about houses and real estate.
-I am now suspicious when I see the word “Clean” in a house listing. Call me crazy but I just think that when someone is trying to sell a house, “Clean” is one of those things that should be a given, like, “Has A Roof”. To read that it is “Clean” tells me that that is probably the only thing it has going for it. That it may not have a roof.
-It’s fun to say, “I have to call my broker” and “our realtor is picking us up at noon.”
-Our realtor is known in the business as, “The Barracuda”. She’s all of 5 feet tall and also happens to be Vid’s aunt. In the first house we saw she undid the lock box, opened the front door, looked inside, said, “Don’t even take your shoes off”, took two steps in and said, “Stand right here, look at what you see. Now get out. We’re going to the next house.”
On A Bright Note:
If you are a believer in creative visualization and have some extra mental time on your hands, please think of us this Sunday, March 20 from 7 PM on (ET), because that is when The Barracuda will be pitching our offer (our first-ever house offer!) on a beautiful little house we found yesterday, and if this house comes our way rather than being bandied about in a bidding war, we’ll be shocked but unspeakably happy. Last night I actually prayed.
Before I sign off, here is a new segment of the KR Blog, a little something I like to call: Something Cute.
Cue the “Something Cute” Jingle/Sting:
When I ask my mother-in-law what my father-in-law is doing and she says, “he’s Curling” (as in the sport of Curling), in her Scottish accent it sounds like she is saying, “he’s cuddling.” (As in the sport of Cuddling?)
Sayanara,
KR
__________
* Cliffhanger: the name of Track 3 from my new CD, “Kathryn Rose”.
Why did I say that David and I feel like boiling our socks?
If you were my best friend Vid, for some reason you would now begin venturing wild guesses as though there was a door prize.
“Because you found mouse droppings in your sock drawer?”
“Because you both have ingrown toenails?
“Because you were just at my house for dinner and got covered in cat fur, to which you are both allergic?
I usually let her guess until she’s guessed-out and then say something like,
“No, Ewww and Excellent Guess, but how about I just tell you?”
So here’s the answer.
Right after this commercial message
ha ha
(like on American Idol but I hope you’re not watching that crap).
“Today’s entry is brought to you by: The Blog.
The Blog.
A modern, convenient distraction from working on your taxes.
Get yours today.”
And we’re back.
Why would we feel the need to boil our socks?
The answer to this question is a recent project that has run the gamut from Exciting to Bearable to Grim to Verging On Crime-Scene:
[Shoe-removal while house-hunting in March in Toronto].
That’s right, on top of everything else we’re both working on right now, we are looking to become first-time homeowners. Because it’s March and there are snowbanks and wet shoes and we’re searching in a certain price range and seeing about 10 houses a day, that’s a lot of “shoes-off/shoes on” in an onslaught of houses that range from Hellholes to Ridiculous Structures to Acceptably-Clean Dwellings to the Occasional Hidden Gem.
Highlights of the past week:
-The naked man in bed we discovered behind a second floor bedroom door, with no warning by the owner who let us into the house.
-A little old lady who, when we saw her home, pointed out the glitter embedded in the stucco living room ceiling with great pride, and who took me on a tour of her bedroom: “This is where I sleep. This is my bed, and my telephone, and my television.”
-A tour of a place that turned out to be an ex-rooming house, with something smeared on the walls in the bathroom that I need not identify.
I’m learning a lot about houses and real estate.
-I am now suspicious when I see the word “Clean” in a house listing. Call me crazy but I just think that when someone is trying to sell a house, “Clean” is one of those things that should be a given, like, “Has A Roof”. To read that it is “Clean” tells me that that is probably the only thing it has going for it. That it may not have a roof.
-It’s fun to say, “I have to call my broker” and “our realtor is picking us up at noon.”
-Our realtor is known in the business as, “The Barracuda”. She’s all of 5 feet tall and also happens to be Vid’s aunt. In the first house we saw she undid the lock box, opened the front door, looked inside, said, “Don’t even take your shoes off”, took two steps in and said, “Stand right here, look at what you see. Now get out. We’re going to the next house.”
On A Bright Note:
If you are a believer in creative visualization and have some extra mental time on your hands, please think of us this Sunday, March 20 from 7 PM on (ET), because that is when The Barracuda will be pitching our offer (our first-ever house offer!) on a beautiful little house we found yesterday, and if this house comes our way rather than being bandied about in a bidding war, we’ll be shocked but unspeakably happy. Last night I actually prayed.
Before I sign off, here is a new segment of the KR Blog, a little something I like to call: Something Cute.
Cue the “Something Cute” Jingle/Sting:
When I ask my mother-in-law what my father-in-law is doing and she says, “he’s Curling” (as in the sport of Curling), in her Scottish accent it sounds like she is saying, “he’s cuddling.” (As in the sport of Cuddling?)
Sayanara,
KR
__________
* Cliffhanger: the name of Track 3 from my new CD, “Kathryn Rose”.
posted by Kathryn Rose (aka KR) at 1:41 p.m.
1 comments
