Things I Have Noticed On This Tour, or, in some cases: Proof That I’m Getting Old
August 23/04
-Quite often I have noticed that a lot of people come to the venue early in the day to park and set up little picnics at their vehicles, some with BBQs, and hang out there for hours before they go in to see the show. This actually seems like a 1970’s rock concert ritual, which reminds me of my youth and comforts me. Are these “day campers” just super keen to get a parking spot or are they perhaps following the tour? Just curious. Feel free to shed some light if you are reading this and you know the answer.
-The cell phone camera has replaced the BIC lighter at rock shows. No longer do swooning concert goers “flick their Bic” during the ballads. Instead they hold up their phones in our direction as if they expect us to say happy birthday to their grandmother, all the while snapping away.
-That brings up another point: never in my career have I witnessed such a flagrant use of personal photographic devices at shows. In my day (holy moly did I just say that?) you were NOT permitted to bring cameras to concerts and if you did you were singled out of the crowd and publicly humiliated. These days there must be a sign in the lobby that says:
___________________________________________
THIS CONCERT LOOKS BEST WHEN VIEWED THROUGH
YOUR DIGITAL CAMERA MONITOR.
PLEASE TAKE ALL THE PICTURES YOU WANT OF TONIGHT’S PERFORMANCE
AND DO WHATEVER THE HELL YOU WANT WITH THEM.
FLASH PHOTOGRAPHY PREFERRED.
-VENUE MGMT.
___________________________________________
Truly I’m just kidding around.* This doesn’t really bother me.
It’s just that the kids today are missing out on all the fun to be had from that amazing secret live shot or bootleg you can show your friends later and have them go: “wow, dude that’s awesome, how did you get that?” (Like we used to do “in my day”).
What good is a live concert shot of your favourite star if you were allowed to take it? Would a bank heist be as satisfying if they left the vault open all the time? Well maybe. Shoplifting only works if you don’t get caught. Personally I like the feeling of getting away with something. (Not shoplifting). Those cell phone cameras are pretty James Bond, I’ll give you that. The trouble is everyone has one. Show me some live shots you took with your retainer that required you to open wide and scream your guts out and hell, yeah, I’d say cheese.
Disclaimer:
For all I know cameras have been allowed for years now and I just didn’t notice. If not: I realise that Sarah’s audience is mostly my age and is probably grateful that they can finally take a freakin’ picture.
Let’s move on. Next topic:
-It’s amazing how often something like this happens on your day off in most American cities:
”Can I order some dinner for take-out?”
“You sure don’t sound like you’re from here. Is that a Midwestern accent?”
“Go north.”
(You point up. Give it a minute. They rule out Heaven and shout their next guess):
“Canada! Whereabouts?”
“Toronto.”
“Oh yeah, I have a buddy moving to Montreal tomorrow.”
(Wow)
“Could I get the low-carb burger to-go?”
(Order is taken, money exchanged)
“So what brings you here?”
(Wild urge to tell outrageous lies, a la: came here to get vein-removal surgery not available in Canada, etc)
“I’m on a music tour.”
“Oh yeah? What is it?”
(Wild urge to say Meatloaf)
“I sing backups for Sarah McLachlan.”
(Temporary look of disbelief, then you are sized up fresh)
“Really? My girlfriend loves her. So what’s she like? Is she as pretty in real life?”
(No urge to lie)
“She’s a very nice person and yeah, she’s real good lookin’.”
“Guess you have to work pretty hard huh? Can’t slack off?”
(Brain in frantic search for response)
“Something in me refuses to suck.” (Good one! Bring it home): “Bad for business.”
“So where are my tickets? You gotta hook me up!”
(Most of the time this request is for real, but this time):
“I’m just kidding.”
“Uh, okay.”
(Relief at getting out of awkward ticket grab by stranger)
“Well, here’s your dinner and you have a great tour. Nice meeting you, hope you get famous.”
(You might pretend you didn’t hear the last part. If remotely cranky, sly voice):
“How do you know I’m not already?”
(The answer is in the question but let’s not make a federal case out of it)
“Well, you know, when you come through town on your own.”
(Dude’s got you there)
“Thanks.” (If feeling sassy): “The name’s Kathryn Rose. Don’t forget it.” (If not): “Say hi to your girlfriend.”
(end of dialogue)
What’s my point? No point. Just something that happens enough to write it down. I suppose I could elaborate to say that in general it’s a bit of a pet peeve of mine when anybody, especially members of my own family ask me what I’ve been up to and then say, “best of luck dear, hope it works out”, like you just told them you’re going to bake a souffle or split the atom later that day. You go home composing a 20-minute speech in your head that, if you had to condense it, and I do, is all about how what I’m doing is not something I started working on yesterday, try 17 years ago, which must mean it’s not a passing fancy and that if it wasn’t working out by now I would have quit long ago, so therefore my luck HAS obviously been pretty good and it IS working out, and if you really want to get sticky, luck has very little to do with it, it’s about following your heart, not listening to nay-sayers, seizing and running with opportunities, and about fostering good working relationships...
...but here I go again. This speech has never seen the light of day (until now) except for the occasional hilarious trading of war stories with some of my close peers. Sometimes a stranger in a strange town can push your buttons the same as your own relatives, without even knowing.
Those are some things I have noticed.
xo KR.
_________________
* A note on the subject of this and all past and future KR Blog rants:
I have received some very nice comments from fans reading my Blog. A few readers, though, have written to me in such a way that suggests my comments may be being taken a tad too seriously at times. By no means should you ever take me seriously (except as a brilliant songwriter), as in these pages it is never my intention to portray myself as an authority on anything (except really good backup singing). I stand behind my opinions but please keep in mind that all I’m really trying to do here is make myself laugh. Over the last few months I have found a few lethargic KR-Blog complaints in my inbox. This bums me out. This dashes my hopes for world literacy. This make my eyebrows go weird. If you dig what I’m saying, say:
“Hey-Ho! ...What gives!
”KR’s Blog won’t harm your kids”
out loud right now no matter where you are. All other friendly comments very much appreciated. About that I am serious.
-Quite often I have noticed that a lot of people come to the venue early in the day to park and set up little picnics at their vehicles, some with BBQs, and hang out there for hours before they go in to see the show. This actually seems like a 1970’s rock concert ritual, which reminds me of my youth and comforts me. Are these “day campers” just super keen to get a parking spot or are they perhaps following the tour? Just curious. Feel free to shed some light if you are reading this and you know the answer.
-The cell phone camera has replaced the BIC lighter at rock shows. No longer do swooning concert goers “flick their Bic” during the ballads. Instead they hold up their phones in our direction as if they expect us to say happy birthday to their grandmother, all the while snapping away.
-That brings up another point: never in my career have I witnessed such a flagrant use of personal photographic devices at shows. In my day (holy moly did I just say that?) you were NOT permitted to bring cameras to concerts and if you did you were singled out of the crowd and publicly humiliated. These days there must be a sign in the lobby that says:
___________________________________________
THIS CONCERT LOOKS BEST WHEN VIEWED THROUGH
YOUR DIGITAL CAMERA MONITOR.
PLEASE TAKE ALL THE PICTURES YOU WANT OF TONIGHT’S PERFORMANCE
AND DO WHATEVER THE HELL YOU WANT WITH THEM.
FLASH PHOTOGRAPHY PREFERRED.
-VENUE MGMT.
___________________________________________
Truly I’m just kidding around.* This doesn’t really bother me.
It’s just that the kids today are missing out on all the fun to be had from that amazing secret live shot or bootleg you can show your friends later and have them go: “wow, dude that’s awesome, how did you get that?” (Like we used to do “in my day”).
What good is a live concert shot of your favourite star if you were allowed to take it? Would a bank heist be as satisfying if they left the vault open all the time? Well maybe. Shoplifting only works if you don’t get caught. Personally I like the feeling of getting away with something. (Not shoplifting). Those cell phone cameras are pretty James Bond, I’ll give you that. The trouble is everyone has one. Show me some live shots you took with your retainer that required you to open wide and scream your guts out and hell, yeah, I’d say cheese.
Disclaimer:
For all I know cameras have been allowed for years now and I just didn’t notice. If not: I realise that Sarah’s audience is mostly my age and is probably grateful that they can finally take a freakin’ picture.
Let’s move on. Next topic:
-It’s amazing how often something like this happens on your day off in most American cities:
”Can I order some dinner for take-out?”
“You sure don’t sound like you’re from here. Is that a Midwestern accent?”
“Go north.”
(You point up. Give it a minute. They rule out Heaven and shout their next guess):
“Canada! Whereabouts?”
“Toronto.”
“Oh yeah, I have a buddy moving to Montreal tomorrow.”
(Wow)
“Could I get the low-carb burger to-go?”
(Order is taken, money exchanged)
“So what brings you here?”
(Wild urge to tell outrageous lies, a la: came here to get vein-removal surgery not available in Canada, etc)
“I’m on a music tour.”
“Oh yeah? What is it?”
(Wild urge to say Meatloaf)
“I sing backups for Sarah McLachlan.”
(Temporary look of disbelief, then you are sized up fresh)
“Really? My girlfriend loves her. So what’s she like? Is she as pretty in real life?”
(No urge to lie)
“She’s a very nice person and yeah, she’s real good lookin’.”
“Guess you have to work pretty hard huh? Can’t slack off?”
(Brain in frantic search for response)
“Something in me refuses to suck.” (Good one! Bring it home): “Bad for business.”
“So where are my tickets? You gotta hook me up!”
(Most of the time this request is for real, but this time):
“I’m just kidding.”
“Uh, okay.”
(Relief at getting out of awkward ticket grab by stranger)
“Well, here’s your dinner and you have a great tour. Nice meeting you, hope you get famous.”
(You might pretend you didn’t hear the last part. If remotely cranky, sly voice):
“How do you know I’m not already?”
(The answer is in the question but let’s not make a federal case out of it)
“Well, you know, when you come through town on your own.”
(Dude’s got you there)
“Thanks.” (If feeling sassy): “The name’s Kathryn Rose. Don’t forget it.” (If not): “Say hi to your girlfriend.”
(end of dialogue)
What’s my point? No point. Just something that happens enough to write it down. I suppose I could elaborate to say that in general it’s a bit of a pet peeve of mine when anybody, especially members of my own family ask me what I’ve been up to and then say, “best of luck dear, hope it works out”, like you just told them you’re going to bake a souffle or split the atom later that day. You go home composing a 20-minute speech in your head that, if you had to condense it, and I do, is all about how what I’m doing is not something I started working on yesterday, try 17 years ago, which must mean it’s not a passing fancy and that if it wasn’t working out by now I would have quit long ago, so therefore my luck HAS obviously been pretty good and it IS working out, and if you really want to get sticky, luck has very little to do with it, it’s about following your heart, not listening to nay-sayers, seizing and running with opportunities, and about fostering good working relationships...
...but here I go again. This speech has never seen the light of day (until now) except for the occasional hilarious trading of war stories with some of my close peers. Sometimes a stranger in a strange town can push your buttons the same as your own relatives, without even knowing.
Those are some things I have noticed.
xo KR.
_________________
* A note on the subject of this and all past and future KR Blog rants:
I have received some very nice comments from fans reading my Blog. A few readers, though, have written to me in such a way that suggests my comments may be being taken a tad too seriously at times. By no means should you ever take me seriously (except as a brilliant songwriter), as in these pages it is never my intention to portray myself as an authority on anything (except really good backup singing). I stand behind my opinions but please keep in mind that all I’m really trying to do here is make myself laugh. Over the last few months I have found a few lethargic KR-Blog complaints in my inbox. This bums me out. This dashes my hopes for world literacy. This make my eyebrows go weird. If you dig what I’m saying, say:
“Hey-Ho! ...What gives!
”KR’s Blog won’t harm your kids”
out loud right now no matter where you are. All other friendly comments very much appreciated. About that I am serious.
posted by Kathryn Rose (aka KR) at 12:46 a.m.
6 comments
